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Welcome to In Your Head! Wrestling podcast, news and community!
Posted in In My Head by BarbedWire at 02:33, Aug 14 2005
#1 - You Lousy, Badly Dressed Marks.
You scream about wanting more wrestling less talk on TV , we give you a Wrestling board and you talk about TV. I don't know. I just thought I'd start this with something provocative.
Browsing the IYH and WNL boards over at AudioWrestling.com's forum - the link for which is available here on http://www.inyourheadonline.com - you can't go more then half a dozen clicks without coming across someone blaming the worlds problems on WWE creative. There is also the occaisional genius calling them "WWE UN-creative" OMG TEH ZING SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Everybody talks about those glory days of WWE back in the Attitude Era when the stories and characters had alot of thought and care put into them. That's because you're revisionist historians. Observe.
Val Venis - Name rhymes with penis , is a porn star.
Kai-en-tai- Are Japanese.
The Nation of Domination - Black Militia group.. later co-lead by Owen Hart.
I take it all back. That right there is grade A quality genius. Lets see if I can use this formula for ratings to make todays show better by means of reassigning people new gimmicks.
Heidenreich - Name sounds German , goose steps.
The Mexicools - Are Mexican.
MNM - Black Militia group.. later co-lead by........... Jillian.
Well maybe it isn't entirely universal but the point still stands. I'm not a writer. I never took any lessons in how to write. I'm just a really good lookin' guy who has a point to make. I enjoy Chris Masters. Not because he's an incredible worker and not because he's the worlds most charismatic on the mic. I enjoy Chris Masters because there is a train wreck quality to him. I like Chris Masters because the Masterlock Challenge makes sense. The Flea of Message Board fame will spend several hours of his day on the nearest mountain top crowing the praise of the ol' NWA. I'm sure Chris Masters and his Full-Nelson would never have fitted in to the NWA. I'm sure technical wrestling moguls such as Big Josh , 'Dirty' Dutch and El Gigante would've run rings around him. Chris Masters is a wrestling character. He's not a soap character , he's not a Zombie and he's not just a regular guy from Texas. Chris Masters is a GOOD wrestling character. It just seems these days that if you're not Japanese , Chris Benoit or you can't pull off a nice Shining Wizard then the Internet has no room for you. Believe me , someday soon Chris Masters will be nothing more then a jobber but before then he has to win matches , even if he's against someone you might like. Why ? Glad you asked. If Chris Masters appeared on the scene Monday and had lost three matches by Thursday then.. why is he there ? When Ric Flair was in the WWE (WWF at the time) in the early 90's he came in and was WWE Champion pretty quickly. He fueded with Randy Savage , he fought the biggest names in the company and he beat them. Before he left to go back to WCW , Vince McMahon knew where Ric Flair was headed in the WWE. He planned for Ric Flair to become JTTS. For those not educated in Wrestling Internet Shorthand , that means Jobber To The Stars. Which , if you can't work THAT out , meant he was going to be the guy that put over everyone from the Upper-Mid Card and up. Ric Flair was going to be the guy that you'd beat to prove to the fans that you were worthy of a spot high in the card. To prove that you were worth shelling out money to watch. Ric would've beaten a few guys from the mid-card or lower now and then , but otherwise would be on his back more then an Amsterdam Hooker in an Economic Boom. Why would it mean alot to beat Ric Flair ? Why would it give your career a huge rub ? Would it be because Ric has mic skills out the wazoo ? No. Would it be because his robes are pretty ? No. It would , however , be because Ric Flair had been the champ , because Ric Flair had beaten Savage and because Ric Flair had gone over an hour in the Royal Rumble. Is Chris Masters going to win the Royal Rumble and take the strap at WrestleMania ? I hope not. He is going to keep beating people , though. Until he either gets a lot better or until he's legitimate enough to give somebody climbing the ladder a rub. It's smart on WWE's behalf because without stepping stones , nobody is going to make it across the creek , no matter how good they are or how much you think they deserve it.
GIRLS , GIRLS , GIRLS.
So far I seem to have come across as a very confrontational asshole. That's alright by me , 'cause I'll be the first to admit I'm an asshole. I'm not being mean , you understand. Your opinions are your opinions and I have the upmost respect for your right to have them. I'm just letting you know what I think about things in my own special way. I don't get alot of time to get my opinions across on the shows , so I'm doing it here. Make sense ? Thank you. One of the things that Jack will actually let me and sometimes Incher talk about on the show though , is the Divas. Theres a reason for this , believe me. It's because he doesn't know their names. He doesn't. Candice Michelle , Michelle McCool-Alexander , Lauren Jones (who ain't pretty and seems to have perhaps disappeared) , Maria Kanellis and Christy Hemme. Well.. he knows Christy's name.. I'll give him that. I know these things. This is my area of expertise besides obscure matches on PPV's nobody remembers. I remember Joy Giovanni , Rochelle Loewen (who wasn't from the Diva Search , she was actually hired at the same time but wasn't in the contest) and Carmella DeCesare. I'm not sure why. Granted , as a guy a good looking woman will make me sit up and take notice , it's only natural. Other Wrestling fans who are equally as appreciative of a good looking woman , however , don't feel the same way that I do. It seems finding one on the Internet who shares my love for these things is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Luckily , IYH celeb Cap'n Fabulous is one of those needles. He's not a crack whore or anything , he's just one of those needles. Even The Notorious O.I.B. seems to have been dragged to my side and forming opinions on the Diva Search. I'm single handedly injecting testosterone into a show otherwise filled with guys who go to work in spandex and disertations on Dungeons and Dragons. Some people seem to think I'd be the first to jump on the D&D talk , seeing as how fond we Brits are of both Dungeons AND Dragons. This is not so. I did watch the Cartoon a few times , but it was far too hit and miss. It was either good or really , really bad and the latter seemed to pop up more often when I tuned in. Maybe it was too old for me at the time I tried to watch , I don't know. I do know I'm drifting off topic and without Incher to suddenly shout out the topic supposedly at hand that may happen alot. The topic was Divas. Lead on , McCool. Sometimes I'm far too smart to communicate with Wrestling fans.
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