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The Captain's Quarters - WWE is a Mess

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 00:07, Jul 29 2005

by The Captain

Let the hate mail fly! Or, just tell me how fabulous I am.: thewindowseat@gmail.com

After the Great American Bash, a lot of the storylines on SmackDown! are pretty much up in the air. The fact that Muhammad Hassan had to be all but killed has affected more than just the World Heavyweight Title main event at SummerSlam, in my opinion. From what I understand, Vince McMahon viewed the Bash as a big disappointment. Personally, I thought it was okay, but still not great. It seems as thought WWE is straying away from the pushes they once seemed to be trying to give to certain superstars. With all the negative feedback story-line and character-use-wise as of late, one would imagine the company would be trying to do something about it. However, things seem to be slipping further and further downhill.

Firstly, I want to cover a couple of rumors I've read on the internet today. I usually never take anything I read on the internet as confirmed until I see it on TV or, these days, on WWE.com, which is why I can't stress the term "rumors" enough. One of the said tales is that World Wrestling Entertainment has hired new writers for their storylines lately, none of whom have any significant knowledge of professional wrestling, and one of them is even straight from Nickelodeon. She reportedly asked how the blood looked so real. Well, no fake blood here, honey. And I want everyone who thinks wrestling is "fake" to know that, too. From past experience, when I've told someone who has asked me that they actually blade themselves, they can't understand. Why would someone MAKE themselves bleed? No one would really do that, they suggest. One guy I watched with even went so far as to say "There's no way that's real blood" when JBL gave a brutal chair shot to Eddie Guerrero last year at a pay-per-view and blood gushed from Eddie's head, immediately covering his face and chest. Well then, Sir, tell me where he had the blood packet, how he opened it the very second he was hit with the chair, and how it has that much "blood" in the packet. Tell me how in the hell it just kept coming out. Hmm? Exactly. My point is that if WWE is hiring people like this to write their shows, their intentions are quite mysterious.

The other rumor I want to address is one I actually believe to an extent. It says that Chris Jericho is supposedly leaving the company soon after SummerSlam. The WWE has reportedly offered him a new contract that Chris will doubtfully sign. This rumor actually started months earlier this year when Jericho was said to be very upset with his lack of push, which would give sense to WWE giving him this big title match at their second biggest PPV of the year. While I do believe Chris Jericho is contemplating not signing the new contract, I don't believe he's made up his mind and I think everything is probably exaggerated. I can't see us having to worry too much about losing Y2J, and if we do, I have no doubt in my mind that he'll be gone a shorter amount of time than even Brock Lesnar will have been.

Which brings me to my next topic. WWE.com has confirmed that Brock Lesnar has been offered a crisp, new contract. I can't really say many positive things about this guy from a personal standpoint. Sure, I'll give the devil his dues. He drew the crowds. He was a multiple time WWE Champion in a very short period of time. I never saw the entertainment in him. I thought he was sloppy in the ring and horrible on the microphone (which, by the way, is why Heyman should have never been split from him). But, apparently, everyone else DID see it. However, I just don't see how someone who all but gave the middle finger to the company can be offered a new spot on the payroll on a silver platter. Not just that, but they apparently had to let other loyal wrestlers go in order to make room for him. It's possible Lesnar has already re-signed with the company and they're just drawing this whole thing out on WWE.com for kicks and hype, but really, maybe they should have saved this for a big surprise and a ratings boost.

So, Muhammad Hassan is finished. Or is he? Theodore Long has released a worked statement regarding the character in a video clip on WWE.com, in which he tells Hassan he can go back to RAW if he wants or anywhere else in the world, but "as far as I'm concerned, you can go to hell!". So, there's a good way to explain why Hassan would go to RAW upon his return, if he does make one, and not to SmackDown!. To make my personal feelings on the subject personally clear, I will say this: I think all the negative feedback to the angle involving Hassan and the Undertaker a few weeks ago is pure nonsense. People wanting, perhaps even needing, something to complain about as it relates to the war overseas. But, that's just it: this had nothing to do with the war overseas. The men in masks have been labeled terrorists and, the one that strikes me as the most ridiculous, of Arab descent. It's like Muhammad Hassan said in a speech he gave the week after the angle aired: there is no way for you to know they are of Arab descent if they are wearing masks! Maybe the big complaint here is that this all aired the day of the attacks in London. It doesn't matter if it aired two days after September 11th, 2001. It is entertainment, a word I cannot stress enough in this situation. Like any other television show. My stepfather has been at war in Iraq since February of this year, and if I can see the senselessness in the whining about this storyline, I think that makes a strong statement. As far as the character, Muhammad Hassan, goes, that character should not have been banned from UPN, let alone be ended just because there are still people in this country that have the "GASP! Did you see what they just did?! That MUST be a direct insult to everything we stand for!" personality. They only prove every point Muhammad argues every single night. I will be crossing my fingers for Hassan to make a return and get his revenge on those that have possibly cost him his career.

Anyway, now that Hassan is out of the picture and he was rumored to be the planned opponent for Batista at SummerSlam, a lot of things on SmackDown! must change. If the Undertaker remains the number one contender and goes to face the Champion at the PPV, then whoever 'Taker was planned to have a match with at the show will have to have a new opponent, and there will be a domino-effect, with each match getting hit and altered in some way. Perhaps they will add Randy Orton, who is on the verge of a return and was the obvious next opponent for The Undertaker, to the title picture as well, making the title match a triple threat. No matter what the deal is, those of us who don't read the SmackDown! spoilers will find out this week, as the SmackDown! main event for SummerSlam is supposed to be announced. I just hope SummerSlam isn't one huge missed boat, like this past Sunday's Bash, as far as winners go.

Christian is seemingly being denied the push he once seemed to be getting. Yes, I've been a loyal Peep for five-plus years, but seriously, Christian and the fans are SCREAMING for the higher-ups to give him a push. I really think drafting him to SmackDown! was a massive mistake on the part of the company. There is no way he can compete with the untouchable Batista. Now, Brock Lesnar is about to hit SmackDown!, unless he returns to RAW, which he won't do. When that happens, it will kill Batista's image, destroy JBL's heat, and ruin any chance of people like Christian even getting near them. I think what World Wrestling Entertainment needs right now is one serious wake-up call. These writers are obviously not working. Maybe that wake-up call will come in the form of TNA's SpikeTV deal this fall. Maybe the competition is what it will take to light a fire under someone's ass.

This has been The Captain, reminding you to PLEASE remain FABULOUS.

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