The Cross Report June 25th

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 03:09, Jun 26 2006

By Gareth Cross

Hello grapple fans and welcome back to another edition of the Cross Report! This week one thing happened that a lot of people myself included thought they would never see. This week the inmates returned to the asylum, yes ECW returned to the new Alhambra arena in Philly.
The ECW fans as expected were not exactly ecstatic at what looked to be a pretty good show. Here?s what went down.
The show started with a classic ECW Tag Match as the F.B.I took on the last ever ECW Tag Team Champions Roadkill and Danny Doring. Tony Mamaluke got the win, in a good match with a DDT on Roadkill. This was a good match and I hope when ECW bring back the Tag Team titles the F.B.I get a decent push as I have always liked Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke, and they should bring back the native of Nashville Italy, Tracy Smothers just for the hell of it. Up next was Stevie Richards taking on a young man who was making his ECW debut, CM Punk. In my opinion Punk is probably the most overrated man in wrestling right now. Sure he is a damn fine worker and good on the mike, but that doesn?t give him the right to instantly get a push in the WWE, some of his fans seem to think the contrary. Punk won via submission (please push Stevie in this new ECW please!) Next was a bikini contest, which the ECW fans shit over and I can?t help, but think why they had a bikini contest, sure it led to a match but at the end of the day you know a hot ECW crowd is going to shit all over a bikini contest. Francine won defeating, Kelly (what a fucking bimbo) and Trinity (I think it was smart booking to stick her with the F.B.I.) Francine won and a catfight broke out. Kelly tried to remove her bra but was stopped by Mike Knox who beat Balls Mahoney by roll up after Balls missed a chair shot. Now I don?t know who the hell Mike Knox is, but I do know that he shouldn?t be beating Balls Mahoney at the ECW arena. The ECW fans were obviously going to be upset at long time ECW alumni Balls Mahoney losing to a nobody like Knox. Sabu beat CW Anderson next with an Arabian face buster through a table. Apparently the reason CW ain?t been on TV recently is that Arn Anderson does not like him using the Anderson name and claiming to be an ?Anderson.? Come on Arn get a grip, I love you as much as the next guy but it is just a gimmick. After the break Sandman beat Justin Credible in some sort of gimmicky cane match. No metallica for Sandman and the crowd weren?t best pleased. Next wrestling?s mad scientist Paul Heyman made his return to the building were he spent the best years of his life. Did the fans blow the roof off the building? Did they chant ?Thank You? as a sign of respect? Nope they booed the guy and chanted ?This Show Sucks.? Now who in the hell do the ECW fans think they are that they can boo Paul Heyman at the arena? Paul built ECW. He gave them 7 years of the most innovative wrestling ever seen on god?s green earth. He had countless workers sacrifice their body for this promotion and he himself ended up bankrupt because of the cost of ECW. And they booed him. I think that is terrible personally and am very disappointed in the ECW fanbase, which I would once have considered myself a part of. Heyman did get a shot in at Rob Black though (calling him a porno reject) and it is always nice to hear people rip on Rob Black and the travesty that was XPW. Next up was Tommy Dreamer who talked about how one of his twin daughters had a fall and was hurt, but his wife (Beulah McGillicutty) told him to go to the arena and perform for the fans he loved so much. Big Show then proceeded to kick his ass. Jobbing out Tommy Dreamer to a unloved WWE wrestler at the ECW arena is just one of those things you don?t do, but hey this is the new ECW. Don?t get me wrong, I was once a Big Show fan, back when he was The Giant in WCW and could do Dropkicks and such, but now the man takes no pride in his performance and I can?t help but think of the wasted talent when I see him wrestle. However there was apparently a very good main event as Rob Van Dam pinned Kurt Angle with the Frog Splash. I don?t think Kurt ever pictured himself being back in the ECW arena let alone wrestling in it. All in All it sounds like a very good show and in my opinion the ECW crowd should have gave it a chance, but they shit all over it from the get go.

Raw was just more Hype for Vengeance this week. It wasn?t a bad show and was highlighted by the segment at the end when HHH and HBK beat up midget versions of the Spirit Squad. The show started with Dusty trying to sell his DVD to strippers, glad to see some of the old Dusty magic is still there. Vince also received a penis in larger courtesy of his son in law HHH. Vince is getting old and it happens to the best of us guys. Next was a funny segment in which Vince was whisked away to Stephanie who was supposedly in labour, infact it was just a trick by that dastardly group D-X. HHH and HBK wondered in the ring who the father was! Mickie and Candice won a bra and panties match, it was ok for an eye candy segment. Viscera challenged Charlie Hass, after what he did to his Lillian?s wrist. Looks like Big Vis is on his own for awhile. Luckily the Spirit Squad decided that the match was so terrible nobody deserved to win and they proceeded to beat the crap out of both men. Umaga squashed another nobody, wouldn?t it be better if Umaga beat established superstars, he is really being booked like it?s the 70?s. John Cena beat native of Nutly, New Jersey (god that cracks me up every time) Balls Mahoney next as the ECW Invasion continued. Randy Orton squashed Snitsky (look out for Snitsky to be fired soon.) Johnny Nitro then beat Shelton and Carlito, part of me wants Nitro to win the IC title just for something fresh and new but I?d also like to see Carlito get another run with the belt as well. Funny promo for the highlanders played, man these guys will suck they watched porn and everything. Edge beat Ric Flair with help from his best buddy Mick Foley in a decent match. RVD ran in and hit the frog splash on Edge. The show finished with the aforementioned D-X-Midget squad confrontation in what was actually pretty funny. Not a bad show I?ll give it a B.

Smackdown was definitely nothing special this week. The Tag titles were defended in the first match was the mexicools imploded. Khali destroyed Simon Dean (go to ECW purlease) and Tantanka. Finlay beat Gunner Scott as only Finlay can, there is a lot of love for Finlay right here. Chavo cut a pretty boring promo I think he needs a new ?attitude? like he got in WCW, which completely turned his character around. Booker beat Lashley via a screwy DQ finish. Ken Kennedy beat the man he beat in his Smackdown debut match (Funaki.) I wish they would give Kennedy some sort of Feud, as he is one of the best things on Smackdown right now. Rey retained against Mark Henry in a poor match. There was little to talk about on Smackdown this week as the small amount of space I allocated it suggests, I?d give it a C at best.

The ECW show was better this week, Sabu beat Tony Mamaluke in a decent opening match which made this week?s show already better than last weeks. That ho Kelly was on my TV again talking about getting naked. Dreamer took a beating from Show, but he kept on smiling. Vampires in the parking lot, godammit they need better security. The return of the Macho Man, well kinda. It will be pretty funny to see what jobber they come up with for Sandman each week. Sabu spoke for like the 3rd time in his life saying ?deal? where the hell is Fonzie when you need him. Kelly got covered up by that nobody who beat Balls at the ECW arena. Test is coming to ECW! Oh joy, I hope Paul E can find some way to make him mildly entertaining I thought WWE missed the boat on him abit. RVD and Kurt Angle beat Randy Orton and Edge in a decent main event. As RVD pinned Edge with a 5 star frog splash. This show is showing definite signs on improvement take the WWE wrestles off it now and it will do just fine, B

There is a big Pay Per View tonight, Vengeance and it promises to be a good show so here is what I think will go down.

WWE Title Match or ECW Title Match? I?m a little confused if the ECW title is on the line or not
Rob Van Dam ? v Edge- Edge to win this one as RVD will stick with ECW from now on and Edge will continue to feud with Cena.

Intercontinental Championship
Shelton Benjamin? v Carlito v Johnny Nitro- I see a Nitro push coming up

The Spirit Squad v D-X- No brainer I also expect Waltman to make an appearance during this match

Extreme Lumberjack Match
John Cena v Sabu ? Screwy Finish

2 out of 3 Falls Match
Ric Flair v Mick Foley- Hometown hero to win this one, I expect a rematch at SummerSlam with Foley coming out on top though

Kurt Angle v Randy Orton- another Angle Victory

Kane v Fake Kane- Meh I just got a feeling

Umaga v Eugene ? and the push continues