Slartibardfast Shoot Interview

Posted in Fan Shoot Interviews by Jack at 11:09, Jun 17 2007

Conducted by Rogue

Slartibardfast has joined #iyh.

Slartibardfast: You got here first. (smiley face)

Rogue: Yes.. have been here a while. Well while you have been sleeping.. I have been doing stuff.

Slartibardfast: Dragging yourself in from the local bar is not "doing stuff". (smiley face)

Rogue: You really pushing it aren?t you (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: One woman with a keyboard and a bad accent can?t scare me. Do your worst!

Rogue: excuse me.... I do not have an accent (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: One woman with a keyboard and a bad accent and poor hearing can?t scare me either

Slartibardfast: I'm going for interview of the year. (smiley face)

Rogue: Ok... question 1.. is it true that you lived for sometime in Germany?

Slartibardfast: Yep, 18 glorious years. I was born and raised there; I didn?t leave until it was time for me to go to off to college. Oh how the women cried on that day?

Rogue: I can imagine... was that the day the Berlin wall was taken down?

Slartibardfast: No, however it was put up to keep me away from the East German girls. I was there the day the wall came down though. There was tons of TV coverage; it was really cool being around for a part of history. I think my dad even has a piece of the wall back home.

Rogue: That was going to be my next question. Yah. I do remember seeing it on TV. Do you miss Germany?

Slartibardfast: Yes, I do. I was so young when I lived there, I really didn?t appreciate the experience as much as I should have. It was great, by train you could easily get to so many other countries. I had friends who would go to France for breakfast once in a while.

Rogue: Do you think you will ever go back... I mean, those east German girls must be surely missing the bardfast (wink)

Slartibardfast: I think I?ll be back at some point, but I?m not sure it?s fair to the women over there. I mean, to enter their lives again, just to leave a short time later. I think that would be kind of cruel. (smiley face) Actually, Alaska, Japan, and Hong Kong are the current favorites on my ?Places I?d like to visit? list.

Rogue: Is it hard being such a chick magnet? Do women follow you around? Have you had to get a silent number?

Slartibardfast: I can be tough at times. I?ve taken to wearing dark shades and a large hat so they can?t get a good look at me, and that helps a little. It?s a curse I have to live with. Thank you for being so understanding, and not giving into the temptation to make advances towards me during the interview.

Rogue: Words escape me at this point (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: I win! (smiley face)

Rogue: No... not yet.. the interview is not over

Slartibardfast: ok.

Rogue: Anwyay, was wrestling big in Germany when you were growing up?

Slartibardfast: Among my friends yes, we would watch it on the American station. We got the WWF Superstars of Wrestling show every week, and once a month Saturday Night?s Main Event. Saturday Night?s Main Event was a big deal. I think we had a couple of sleep overs on weekends it was going to be shown. However I don?t ever recall seeing a single wrestling show on German tv.

Rogue: Did you ever play wrestle with your friends?

Slartibardfast: No, however once in high school, a friend of mine from the wrestling team, put me in a figure 4 leg lock. In retaliation, later in the year I gave him the ?Garvin Punch? during English class. I did wrestle for a season in Elementary school, but that was mostly just goofing around.

Rogue: Did you like that... "Play Wrestle" (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: ?Play Wrestle? yeah, I know what you mean. I never snuck out of the house, put on a lucha mask and wrestled illegally to make extra money?

Rogue: You didn't? You?re sure? I mean those pictures look awfully a lot like you (wink)

Slartibardfast: It?s clearly not me in those pictures. My abs are much better defined than that guys. I?m a modern day Rick Rude I tell ya! (smiley face)

Rogue: Ahhh ok. I can see that now.

Rogue: Whom was your favourite wrestler growing up and why?

Slartibardfast: Too hard to pick just one. Macho Man and Ricky Steamboat played off each other so well, they were both on the top of my list for a long time. Later Bret Heart made his way near the top of that list when he was still tagging win Jim Neid Heart. I also liked Tito Santana, The Rockers, and of course Demolition.

Rogue: What about MMA? How did you get into that?


Slartibardfast: I don?t remember how I got into MMA. My guess is I saw one of the early UFC PPV shows in a local video store and rented it. Yes, that seems right. It was probably UFC 1, 2, or 3. At any rate the stand up striking didn?t impress me that much, but I had never seen Brazilian Jujitsu before, and watching Royce Gracie work his magic on the ground amazed me. I?ve been watching ever since.

Rogue: Have you ever wanted to try it? I mean.. Those outfits.. Pretty tight they are and those colours.. Well, do you not think they would flatter you so well..

Rogue: I can't believe I am feeding your ego (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: Please, I know it?s difficult, but try not to think of me in tight revealing outfits during the interview.

Rogue: I am trying.. Just being around someone with so much awesomeness... is just.. awesome. I think my nose is growing..

Slartibardfast: Imagine the reply if you gave that last line to Sheik or Krusher. (smiley face)

Rogue: Yah.. well, I think you three are related somewhere along the line.. lol

Slartibardfast: You bring out the best; uh make that the worst in us. (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: As for your question, I wish they had classes when I was younger. I definitely would have done that in high school. Just for fun mind you, I have never had a desire to be any sort of fighter for a living.

Rogue: How did you find out about IYH?

Slartibardfast: Ok, my IYH story. It?s long so I?ll break it down like this.
Slartibardfast: 1. On a whim I searched for wrestling content on the web.
Slartibardfast: 2. I Starting listening to Jeremy Borash on wresltingradio.com
Slartibardfast: 3. Wrestlingradio.com shut down.
Slartibardfast: 4. I then listened to Jeremy Borash on WCW Live.
Slartibardfast: 5. WCW shut down.
Slartibardfast: 6. I then listened to GIR
Slartibardfast: 7. GIR shows became more and more infrequent
Slartibardfast: 8. Someone in the GIR message board mentioned IYH
Slartibardfast: 9. I?ve been listening ever since.

Rogue: OMG... every wrestling show you have been too has closed down. Did you notice that?

Slartibardfast: Yes, I was thinking that as I typed, however Jeremy Borash now works for TNA and has a video show, and IYH is still going strong. I like to think those with talent will always find a home.

Rogue: What is your best IYH experience?

Slartibardfast: Without a doubt, it would be the very first time the IYH Interrogator called into the show. What a magic 5 minutes that was. It even led to what OIB called ?Bad Fake Accent Night?. After the Interrogator, a French version of The Flea called in, it was brilliant!

Rogue: That is your best IYH experience? That is what you want me to put in this shoot interview as your answer? Only muckin?.

Rogue: Have you had the pleasure of talking to the IYH interrogator? Maybe pleasure is not a good word to use

Slartibardfast: Some things must remain kayfabe under all circumstances.

Slartibardfast: I will say that I played an integral part in getting the Interrogator to do the show, and it is my direct influence on him that keeps him coming back.
Slartibardfast: The Interrogator is actually a nice guy. Just don?t interrupt him when he?s talking.

Rogue: Is he blackmailing you? I mean, your direct influence means??

Slartibardfast: I have said too much, we had better change the subject. If you want to know more, you will have to do some ?investigative reporting? on your own. I bet if one really tried, you could prove just who the Interrogator is. He has left clues you know?

Rogue: Some say I am too thick to pick those clues up.. people can be cruel..

Slartibardfast: No one cares if you?re dumb, just be pretty and life will work out for you. Just ask Paris Hilton or Tara Reid. (smiley face)

Rogue: Yah.. but I will be old one day, looks fade. I will be old and men will shut doors in my face instead of opening them for me.. such a sad life.. (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: When you are old, there will still be old men. You just have to be hotter than the other old ladies in your town and your set. (smiley face)

Rogue: Should I dye my hair purple?

Slartibardfast: No, please don?t. I don?t know what it is about age that makes you gals go for the purple and pink dye, but stop it. White hair is dignified, leave it natural.

Rogue: Something I am curious about.. Anime.. I mean, I seriously did not know it was so popular. How did you get into that? Do you have Anime dolls?

Slartibardfast: I have never owned or played with a ?doll? in my life! I have however owned several Star Wars and GI Joe action figures.

Rogue: Action figures.... blah blah blah... they are dolls my dear man (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: No, that thing I keep in my closet for lonely nights is a doll, GI Joes are action?. Did I just type that, HOW DO I DELTE ON THIS THING!!!!!

Rogue: Ok.. 2nd last question. Is it my imagination or are you a gadget geek?

Slartibardfast: I am horribly addicted to gadgets. As I type this I can see my Treo650 smartphone, my Ipod mp3 player, and my Ipaq PDA. In the drawer of the desk I?m sitting at is my old camera phone, my old Palm Pilot PDA, my old Sharp Wizard PDA, my Garmin GPS, a graphing calculator, and DataLink watch that can sync with my computer?.

Slartibardfast: My God. Rogue, I?m sick. Help me?..

Rogue: Is ok Slarti... just give them all to me.. it will make you feel better.. (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: Yes, I?ll give them all to you, that would be for the best?. But just one more song/picture/appointment schedule/wi-fi email check first?

Rogue: Why do you have a graphing calculator?

Slartibardfast: I used it when I was in college. Calculus was tough!

Rogue: Ok.. Last question.. You ready for it..

Rogue: If members of the board were cartoon characters, who would they be?

Slartibardfast: That question is designed to get me hate mail. I didn?t think you had it in you. I?m so proud! (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: Ok, here goes:

Slartibardfast: Krusher: Taz

Rogue: I can see that..

Slartibardfast: Jack: Bugs Bunny

Slartibardfast: OIB: Droopy Dog

Slartibardfast: Barbie: Peppy Le? Pew

Slartibardfast: hang on phone

Rogue: Ok.. I will have to go get it first..

Slartibardfast: ok back

Slartibardfast: Rogue: Jessica Rabbit

Rogue: He didn?t get it.. :-\

Slartibardfast: Yam: The Singing Frog

Slartibardfast: Sheik: Daffy Duck

Slartibardfast: Norrin: Foghorn Leghorn

Rogue: who is going to be Elmer Fudd?

Slartibardfast: No Fudds in the group.

Rogue: damn

Slartibardfast: Red: Tweety Bird

Slartibardfast: Dish: The ?which way did they go George? dog

Slartibardfast: Flea: TheTick

Slartibardfast: MrsFlea: Aeon Flux

Rogue: I liked that movie..

Slartibardfast: Haven?t? seen Aeon Flux yet, waiting for my 60 plasma tv before I watch it.

Slartibardfast: The rest of the bunch are assorted members of the Super Friends.

Rogue: One last person I would like you to have a go at.... Remember the Doc? Angry Samoen's acquaintance? Who does he remind you of?

Slartibardfast: Doc: Yes he does remind me of a character I saw in a cartoon. You see there is a type of Anime called Hentai, which is horrifically sexually explicit. Anyway I saw this movie where the janitor of a sorority house would sneak into?. Well I?ve said to much, and I can?t remember the guys name anyway, but that?s the good doctor to a tea.

Rogue: I lied too.. one one last question then I will leave you in peace... the hosts of IYH.. What can you say about them? What would you like to say to them..

Slartibardfast: Jack: The goofy, whimsical well from which much of the light hearted nature of IYH flows.

Slartibardfast: OIB: The steady unwavering rock upon which the foundation IYH resides, and our only hope for order amidst the chaos.

Slartibardfast: Barbie: Some English guy.

Slartibardfast: Ok, ok, Barbie is the quintessential Jack-of-all-trades, adeptly filling in voids of serious discussion or irreverent humor whenever needed.

Slartibardfast: Hey, this is supposed to be about me and how great I am, I don?t want to talk about other people!

Rogue: Do not worry, I have set up banners all over the world.. Letting all know the power of the Slartibardfast !!

Rogue: ok.. One last thing? Sheik wanted to know if you prefer Boxers or Briefs...

Slartibardfast: ?Sheik wanted to know? sure he did. I see thorough your clever little plan. I won?t give you the answer to ?Sheik?s? question, but I will give you my address? (smiley face)

Rogue: He did really.. lol.. I feel myself going red.. (poking tongue out)

Slartibardfast: Sheik does have an undergarment fascination.

Rogue: It most certainly sounds like it.

Rogue: Just wanted to sincerely thank you for taking time out.. it was a pleasure talking to you.. (smiley face)

Slartibardfast: No problem these interviews are fun. You may now resume thinking about me wearing those tight MMA shorts.

Rogue: Righhhhhht?